


The Soldier With Golden Hair

by Severeance



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blood, Fix-It, Gore, I am not sorry for this, It's the comics I swear, M/M, No Spoilers, Post-Civil War, Steve is Hydra, Steve is a good guy, Steve is little shit, Steve watches infomercials in his spare time, Tony Swears, Why?, and tags will be updated, apparently, but not really, but who doesn't, hail HYDRA, natasha is cunning, other than trailer stuff, so far - Freeform, the rating will go up, you decide what happens next
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severeance/pseuds/Severeance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers WAS a part of HYDRA. It wasn't his fault, really. He was four at the time. At least he left when he learnt right and wrong.</p><p>No one knows Bucky is The Winter Soldier 02. Except possibly Bucky and The Winter Soldier 01.</p><p>(Basically my attempt to make sense of this Captain America is Hydra shitstorm. But Steve is still the good guy. I promise.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Soldier With Golden Hair

Steve took in a deep breath of air and sighed it out. He was totally having the time of his life. Walking around and old bank that had been closed down ages ago busy picking up severed fingers and various other body parts. The building housed one of the abandoned HYDRA bases to boot. 

The blood reminded him somewhat of that one episode of Mr. Bean he had watched a few days ago during one of his 'not compulsory but yes it actually kind of is 21st century catch up time lessons.'  
Or basically netflix night with either Natasha or Sam. 

In the episode Mr. Bean had decided to paint his house and may have placed some mild explosives in a can of white paint after covering the furniture in newspaper. That was definitely put on his not-to-do list and even got a higher spot on the list because of today.

He continued with the clean up. Oh look, another fing- that's not a finger, definitely not a finger. Let's just move inconspicuously to anotger spot. No, do NOT whistle innocently, it only makes a person more likely to be guilty. This spot is a bit better.

After the whole Civil War caper - turns out capers aren't that good on pizza, or on anything else for that matter - Tony and himself had been forced to kill, sorry scratch that just a small slip of the mind, kiss and make up. Well, not technically kiss and make up, but technicalities. 

As a bit of a compromise - Read: Everyone had to agree because otherwise they would be sent to jail - the government may have put them in a form of community service - even Stark. They had to do clean up and half the time it wasn't even their own battles. Captain America did not get frozen for sixty-six years to clean up after someone else's tantrum. They even had their own individiual quotas to fill each month for how many hours they have to do.

At least Bucky didn't have to take part as he was in cryofreeze. Steve was still thankful to T'challa for funding everything. He'd been told they were close to figuring what's going on in Bucky's brain and because of that he might be let out cryofreeze soon.

Steve risked a glance to his right. Neither Stark nor Natasha had picked up the dick-finger. He actually felt sorry for the person it used to belong to. The thing had been mistaken for a finger.

Natasha came out of nowhere carrying a dog poop scoop and a bucket on wheels.

"You see it too?" She asked in a hushed tone, "Let's both go on squeegee duty and leave that for Stark. He's the one with the robot helper."

She handed him one of those wonder mops you see on infomercials that have the handle you can pull up to squeeze the water, sorry, blood out of. Steve took it and set to work. He was not looking forward to having to do the ceiling either.

Steve was glad he never made plans today. A somewhat morbid conversation played in hid head. Honey, I'm home. How was your day? Just the usual, mopping blood off the ceiling and scheming to get Stark to pick up the dick-finger. Lovely, dinner is in the oven.

"What the fuck is this?" Stark exclaimed. Steve glanced at Tony who was examining the dick-finger. The man had been lucky he had been allowed to use a robot to help him. They had said as long as he was present, did the work and fufilled the quota they were fine.

So Stark had brought in a robot with a built in object sensor, vacuum, mopping system, air freshener and arm built to hold a soda cup - and severed limbs apparently - Stark had given it a coconut bra and a hula skirt as well. It also played AC/DC and similar bands. Not that Tony would usually build something to clean, but anything to get him out of doing dirty work of any sort.

Maybe Steve should write a letter or whatever new-fangled thing kids did these days when they have an issue and need the public to take stuff into consideration. Or he could just post a cat photo on his verified Twitter or Instagram and watch it go viral. He didn't know if it was because of the cat or the Captain America or both. It was quite funny sometimes. But kf he did write a letter...

 Dear all persons,  
I would highly recommend that all bombs used for any bombings should be thoroughly tested before use. Particulary bombs designed to be ingested before detonating. Side effects may include: Nausea, stomach cramps, irritable bowels, mission failure and self explosion. Use with extreme caution and please dispose of all fingers, toes, ears and other protruding body parts beforehand as Captain America does not enjoy picking up your scattered body parts.  
Lots of love from your pal,  
Captain America.

He might even drops a few F-bombs to get his point across. Steve knew using the actual sweat word was not some big start of Captain America's great rebellion, but there was an awful pun to be made so he couldn't resist.

"What to these buttons do?" Stark asked, fingers inches away and moving closer.

"Don't!" Steve near-shouted in his 'Captain America is ordering you/ mother with an over-adventurous toddler' voice.

"Why not?"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't touch these buttons." A woman said to a child of between for and five years of age.

"Why?" The imquisitive boy asked.

"It will cause the lab to explode and then your mother won't be happy with you." Elisa Sinclair explained to the child, she knew that her children skills weren't the best, but oh well. 

"Oh."

She punched in the passcode and the doors slid open.

"Come on Steve," she said as she started to lead Steve by the hand.

Steve's eyes were wide as he took the laboratory in.

"Dr. Erskine." Elisa said with a slight nod.

"Ms. Sinclair. You must be Steven." He said to Steve.

Steve nodded shyly.

"I'm just going to run some tests on you, alright? I want you to tell me if it hurts."

"Okay."

Dr. Erskine led him to the examination table and helped him up.

~~~~~~~~~~

"He's a runt, he'll never survive it. You're mad." One of the doctors said to Erskine.

"Don't worry. I'm trying something new. I'm positive this time it will work."

"You've said that everytime so far."

~~~~~~~~~~

"This is only going to sting for a few moments."  Dr. Erskine said as he injected an anastetic into a nearly six-year-old Steve who jerked slightly at the sting. "Now I want you to count to ten for me."

"One, t-two, three, five..." Steve closed his eyes and stopped counting.

"Ready?" The assistant working with the machinery controls asked.

Dr. Erskine nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat, "Ready."

~~~~~~~~~~

Beep..... Beep.... Beep... Beep.. Beep. BeepBeepBEEP.

"Rogers, G. Steven. Alpha 20638324. Winter Soldier 01. Override Self-destruct."

The keypad stopped beeping.

"What the fuck was that, Rogers?" Stark Asked.

**Author's Note:**

> What do YOU want to happen next? Tell me in the comments?


End file.
